Graduate student Vivienne Charles is afraid of her own desires—ashamed to admit that she fantasizes about being taken by force, by a man who will claim her completely and without mercy. When the magnetic, mysterious Jonah Marks learns her secret, he makes an offer that stuns her: they will remain near-strangers to each other, and meet in secret so that he can fulfill her fantasy.
Their arrangement is twisted. The sex is incredible. And—despite their attempts to stay apart—soon their emotions are bound together as tightly as the rope around Vivienne’s wrists. But the secrets in their pasts threaten to turn their affair even darker...
Reader Advisory: Asking for It deals explicitly with fantasies of non-consensual sex. Readers sensitive to portrayals of non-consensual sex should be advised.
He rises
from the bench as I walk to him, an old-fashioned, almost chivalrous gesture
that touches me in a way I can't define. As we sit down together, he says,
"Is everything all right?"
"No."
I take a deep breath. "Jonah, I can't keep doing this. Meeting you.
Playing out our – scenes. It has to stop."
At first
he says nothing. His expression remains cool. Is he that controlled? Will he
just get up and walk away like none of it ever happened?
But it
couldn't have ended any other way.
Finally
Jonah speaks. "You weren't unhappy with – what I did at the benefit."
"No."
God, no. When I think about the way he slid his fingers inside my panties, I
want to take back everything I've said, grab him by the collar and drag him
into the nearest building for a quickie in the stairwell. It would be as
scorching hot as every other time Jonah's put his hands on my skin.
And it
would only be delaying the inevitable.
I take a
deep breath. "This isn't about anything you did wrong. Okay? You've kept
every promise. You made me feel safe at moments I don't think any other man
could have, ever. And you –" My voice breaks. Dammit. I pull myself
together. "You saw something in me I've always hated and made me feel less
ashamed of it for a while. So thanks for that. And the sex. Definitely thanks
for the sex."
My
crooked smile doesn't fool him for a moment. Jonah leans forward; he brings his
hand closer to me, as if he'll touch my shoulder, but rests it on the back of
the bench instead. "Vivienne, what's wrong?"
This is
normally where I bunt. Where I take the gentlest, easiest out for everyone
involved, so we can walk away with no hurt feelings, no unresolved conflicts.
I've
always thought of it as consideration, or poise. Doreen says it's dishonesty,
and asks me what would happen if for once in my life I just told the ugly truth
and let people deal with it.
Jonah
already knows one of my uglier truths. What the hell.
"I
thought I could have sex outside of a relationship, with no strings
attached," I say. "I did in undergrad, like anyone else. Probably I
could do it again with someone else. But you and me – it's not a normal
situation. Not only because of, you know, the fantasy –" I glance around,
but few students walk anywhere near us, and every single one is either wearing
earbuds or absorbed in their cell phones. "It's more complicated than
that."
"Our
arrangement is simple," he says flatly. "We were very specific about
what this would be and how we would handle it."
"This
isn't about logistics." I look upward at a pale gray sky, the kind you see
when the clouds have claimed the entire sky. Truth. Tell the real truth.
"Jonah, every time I'm with you, it's more than sex. Every time, I turn
myself over to you, completely. I have to give you total control, and total
trust."
"I
haven't abused that trust, have I?"
Shaking
my head, I say, "No. But don't you see? I don't just fuck you, Jonah. I
bare my soul to you. Then we go back to being almost strangers to each other.
The disconnect is getting to me, and I don't think I can handle it
anymore."
Despite
all our rules and resolutions, I have begun to have feelings for Jonah. To feel
jealous of other women he might touch. To want to have not just his body but
his heart. That means I want too much. Which in turn means I have to get out,
now.
4.5 Stars
At first, I thought--"Why did I want to read this book?" I was a bit scared and hesitant, because of the nature of the warning. But let me tell you how amazing this story is. It's such a unique story.
These two characters drew me in from the very beginning. Their story is heartbreaking and you want nothing more than to root for these two. The scenes in this book are erotic and written tastefully. Don't expect to be thrown off by the "rape" scenes. This author did a fantastic job on such a taboo subject.
Viv and Jonah were two complex characters. They had an unique, taboo agreement that worked for them. But when emotions and feeling start to play into their relationship, the dynamic starts to change. Leaving both of these characters confused. As the book goes along, we learn so much more on their background and why "they are the way they are."
Yes, it ends with a cliffhanger, but this read is worth it. I can't wait for more in the next installment of the next book, Begging for It.
About the Author
Lilah
Pace is a pseudonym for a New York Times
bestselling YA author. This is her first adult novel.
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